10's « Jim Smetchland Reviews

Captain American

22 10 2011

About 2 weeks ago i was in the mood for an American propaganda flick, this movie did not disappoint. USA policing the world fighting evil bringing freedom and liberty to savages around the globe. Inspire young Americans to fight in today’s pointless wars by glorifying WWII. But despite popular opinion formed from movies and video games, individuals are not successful in war. You will not ‘find your identity’ in war. Your best bet to stay alive and help your fellow soldiers is to toe the line, be like everyone else and do exactly as you’re told….Ok enough ranting, as stated earlier i was in the mood for this……So now, finally, the reason why i am typing. ….Disgusted that Hitler wasn’t evil enough, the movie’s villain goes rogue and splits from the Nazi. I never got into 40′s era propaganda comics but, they’re kidding right, Hitler wasn’t a big enough villain? They actually needed to create a WWII character who is worse than Hitler. Although you can’t see it, i am shaking my head.

Jim Smetchland’s Rating: D

Drew does Captain America: The First Avenger (mutantreviewers.wordpress.com)

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Tags: Adolf Hitler, america, colonial, colonialism, freedom, Germany, global, globalization, History, Hitler, imperial, imperialism, liberty, Nazi, Nazism, propaganda, United States, usa, World War II, ww2
Categories : 10's

Stupid 8

7 09 2011

I was excited to see this movie and then entirely disappointed. Big budget movies; the preview is a better film. The preview had suspense, intrigue, mystery- the movie has very little of these. I won’t give anything away, but i will tell you what this flick isn’t. Its not a thought provoking intelligent sci-fi centered around a super 8 video recording. There just happens to be a super 8 camera present in the film, but its clearly tacked in for the purposes of title. All an attempt to prop up a very tired, very very familiar plot. Audio and video effects are stunning though, so down a few whacko caps and pretend this one’s worth watching once.

Jim Smetchland’s Rating: C+

Super 8 (2011) – 2.5/5 (allenwatcheseverything.wordpress.com)
Super 8: Super stupid (powerlineblog.com)

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Tags: action, Arts, fiction, film, Filmmaking, hollywood, movie, movies, science fiction, steven spielberg, super, super 8, video
Categories : 10's, action, Rating C, sci-fi

Knight and Day

27 05 2011

Its movies like this that make me wish I was born in an era where Tom Cruise was not alive. . . .or possibly a universe where he never existed… I think I’ve figured out why so many big stars play characters who are spies or super heroes forced to act like normal people- makes it less obvious that Tom Cruise is incapable of acting like a normal person. Sure its contrived, its supposed to be. Want your dog to perform a trick while having a nap? Ask him to play dead… The end was just weird, they do a happy pitch-corrected pop song drive-away roll credits, then unexpectedly, a brief sombre finale followed by silent credits as though we’d just watched Shindler’s List or something. Maybe it just played wrong for me or something, I don’t get it?

Jim Smetchland’s Rating: D-

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Tags: film revies, movie reviews, stupid movies, terrible movies
Categories : 10's, action

Buried

26 01 2011

Fuck, newsflash, its just Van Wilder stuck in a box for 2 hours. What a goddamn mystery, thrilling. . . .But seriously, i couldn’t stop watching, i had absolutely nothing better to do, how depressing is that?! Well actually i got up and left here and there to try and pass the time along, i wanted to see if he got out of the damn box so I’d check in a bit while doing laundry. I won’t completely give away the ending in case you go through this torture yourself but goddamit! hmmmm, I remember being offended by some of the American propaganda, but i can’t recall exactly what was said, i was zoning out and it was days ago. The only real cinematic difference would happen about every half hour where they would pick an angle and zoom out excruciatingly slow to show the box in a dark space. Worst part, he lives for hours in a coffin with a lighter burning and somehow never runs out of breath- in real life you’d be dead in minutes. They account for this by having him exclaim every once in a while “i can’t breath in here!”. Shit, why do i bother?

Jim Smetchland’s Rating: D-

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Tags: american, buried, crappy movies, ground, iraq, movie, movies, propaganda, ryan reynolds, underground
Categories : 10's, drama, mystery

The Extendables

23 11 2010

Its like a highschool yearbook for action stars; the camera didn’t capture anything interesting, but everyone managed to sit still and smile long enough to get some shots for the final print. Willis and Schwarzeneggar would only agree to appear with each other and Stallone. No Stratham scenes- they’re above that type of thing. I watched this crap maybe 2 weeks ago, i can’t tell you what it was about, I think there was a helicopter and a jungle drug lord or something. I do, however, clearly remember the posters with the eight-ish big stars standing in a row. That was the only image that mattered anyway wasn’t it? Sell us the movie first and foremost; its why the previews leave you feeling more entertained than the movie. I could get a year’s worth of Hollywood garbage over within a short night of nothing but “trailers” and confidently discuss anything that went on that year.

Rating D

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Tags: action, action star, action stars, actors, big budget, comedy, comical, critic review, expendables, expendibles, film review, films, funny, hollywood stars, movie reviews, super action, the expendables
Categories : 10's, action, Rating D

Pirate Radio

24 04 2010

PSHoffman is good as usual, I just can’t be bothered to write his full name out. These actors and their goddamn 3 part stage names, if you don’t use your fake middle name you will never win an award for your acting. How about Joseph Manwell Flatulence someone should start calling themselves that to get respect. . . . .This was a solid flick. Good characters, some funny moments, suspense and conflict. Not everything made sense, but it was a light movie so who cares? Basically they operate a pirate rock radio station in the North Sea in the 60′s because the BBC won’t play pop. My only beef, but man its a big one, is the text at the end- don’t worry I’m not giving anything away. They claimed that the rebels of pirate radio would eventually take over because, hold your hat, rock stations are common place today. . . . .They’re kidding right? Corporate rock stations are how pirate rebels won out in the end? Metallica and their ilk are the stuffy dudes in suits back on land trying to get pirate radio shut down. I almost threw my computer during the montage of corporate rock albums at the end that was supposedly honouring the victors of the pirate rock revolution. Make the obvious Napster comparison instead, that would make sense, that’s the prevailing rebellion. Ah but who owns the movie production house? . . . .Post release they also changed the film’s name to “The Boat That Rocked”. Obviously some big wig swooped in from above and demanded that content piracy isn’t glorified. . . .Careful, your wallets are showing.

Rating: B+

and no Beatles?

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Tags: Bill Nighy, Charlie Rowe, Chris O'Dowd, comedies, comedy, comedy download, comedy rental, comedy review, dvd rental, dvd's new dvd, film, film downloading, film rental, film review, film trailer, film trailers, films, fim download, flick, flicks, funny, funny film review, funny film reviews, funny movie revies, funny movie review, funny movies, funny review, funny video review, funny video reviews, hollywood, hollywood stars, Ian Mercer, Lucy Fleming, Michael Hadley, movie, movie download, movie downloading, movie ratings, movie review, movie reviews, movie trailer, movie trailers, movies, new dvd, Nick Frost, ratings, rental dvd, rental films, rental movies, review, Rhys Darby, Richard Curtis, romantic comedy, stars, Tom Sturridge, trailers, video, video download, video downloading, video rental, video trailer, video trailers, videos
Categories : 10's

Green Zone

19 04 2010

Matt Affleck tromps around Baghdad as an army Sargent just following the invasion of Iraq (Bush II). Before each scene they karate chopped his neck to gruff up his voice disguising his pansiness somewhat. . . . New war movies suck, they’re like video games. Designed to get young people to sign up for the action, super action. Kids, you can’t be an individual in the army, there is no rogue soldier who can make a difference and discover the truth. This flick was about the missing WMD’s. There was a solid 1-2 mins of actual criticism of the American Iraq ‘mission’, if you made it that far. Oh but Greg Kinnear was in this, I was a fan of him long before you knew who he was.

It was the greatest moment in TV history as far as I’m concerned- and I watched it live! It happened on ‘Later With Bob Costas’- a late night interview show airing after either Leno or Letterman. Costas announces that his guest tonight will be Greg Kinnear, then lists his accomplishments to date including a couple episodes of Life Goes On. . . .Kinnear emerges and is interviewed by Costas for a few minutes. Frustrated by his crappy guest, Costas rises from his desk and says “that’s it I’m done, I swore I would only do this show so long as it remained interesting”. Storming out, Greg Kinnear looks at the camera and moves into the interviewer’s chair. This was the unannounced launch of the brand new show: ‘Later With Greg Kinnear’. The show never did loose that thrown together feel. . . .Wait, what did this all have to do with Green Zone again?

Rating: C+